Hashing Out My Story

No, we do not have class tonight.

Yes, I still need to figure out today what I'm doing for this Audio Story.

Why? Because I'm taking out the ComKit on Monday, driving to Long Island, and going to work with my dad the next day to get all my taping done. I have to do this in one planned day because, well, I simply live too far and am just too busy to go back for a day two before this is due. So, with a fire lit under my butt, here goes.

In class last week, Prof Lyons suggested that I might spin the story to be more of a father-daughter thing, about pride and being lower working class. Do I think this applies to me and my father? I guess. I've known my whole life that I wanted to be more than my parents. I wanted good grades, an education, a college degree, and a life not spent always feeling like we were living beyond our means just to survive.

We never really had a lot. But we weren't without either. My parents did everything they could to make mine and my brother's lives happy and comfortable. That's kind of a hard thing to do on two entry-level salaries. My dad has been a window cleaner almost his whole life. 40 some-odd years now. My mom has bounced between such jobs as in data-entry, clerical work, being a substitute assistant for the school district, and finally working her way up to a teacher's assistant position in the school district my brother and I attended our whole lives. She has finally hit the point of making a livable salary for a mother with two kids in college.

My dad, on the other hand, has been losing more and more business lately. His self-owned and operated small business is a dying breed. He's a window cleaner who cleans store-fronts and the occasional building or house. In these days of a "do-it-yourself" mentality, that certainly includes windows. Businesses are opting out of their $50 a month contract with my dad to add the simple responsibility to another employee's list of things to do. Are the windows as clean? Not really. But who cares? They're just windows.

That brings me to myself. I have been a working girl my whole life too. Camp counselor, concession stand worker, bagel girl, waitress, and bartender are just some of the jobs I've had since I was 14 years old. None of them were anywhere near what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, but they got me through years of needing my own money to help out the burden on my family. And I was happy to help. I know how to work hard and I don't mind putting in the necessary effort to get through each day. I'm proud to say that I'm smart enough and determined enough to successfully make it through life with something to show for it.

But has that affected my relationship with my father? I don't really know how to look at it. My dad is very proud of me, especially when it comes to my education. His favorite thing to talk about is me and all of my accomplishments. He rattles them off to whoever will listen like stats. I've been honored by being as important to him as his favorite sports teams. He writes down little notes about things I've done to keep in his wallet to remember to talk about later. And his bedroom wall at the head of his bed is covered in framed degrees, honors, awards, and certificates, one of the few things he spends money on that isn't considered "necessary". It makes me proud to know how proud he is of me. And it always keeps me striving for more things to give him to be framed.

So, has my father been an influence in my life on who I am and who I want to be? Absolutely. He may not be smart or knowledgeable, but my father knows that I am and is proud to know that I am his daughter.

Ok, now that I've gotten all that down, what does it all have to do with my audio story? I think it may just be the angle I had been looking for. My dad's small business is falling apart and he blames his lack of a retirement future on his own lack of a proper education, as well as the current economy. I think that's where I want to focus some of my questions for him. Not only do I want to know how he's being effected by the economy, I also want to know why he continues to work so hard anyway, instead of giving up, something he probably feels like he should do considering his deteriorating health. I want to know not only how his life has changed in recent years, but also how he finds the motivation to keep moving forward anyway, and how his determination has been tested. For the struggling man, how does one keep going?

I hope all of that makes sense. And I hope I've finally reached my focus. I guess we'll just have to see how it goes.....